So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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