just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
