I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
