dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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