You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
