I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
