i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
