Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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