My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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