She tied me up with her honor cords...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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