She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
420 ftw
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
false alarm, still single
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