His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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