also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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