listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
