I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
