would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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