You work out of a Hotel?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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