I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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