You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
