How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
