i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
