I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
