I just saw a hot homeless man
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
