And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
