glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
