I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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