ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
