google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
