his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
