Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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