That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
