um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
