they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We named our party play list daddy issues
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you traded sex for a burrito?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
