My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
