I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
