So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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