Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
