Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
