Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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