I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
