stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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