I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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