is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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