He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
