Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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