she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
