Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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