There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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