Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
