So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
