Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
